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Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Hey Rocky, watch me lower gas prices! This time for sure!

Most of you who are Boomers will recognize the title of this entry. The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show was an adult cartoon series, badly drawn (another of it's endearing qualities) that was loved by kids like me. The hapless Bullwinkle with Rocky...I'll still watch them over 45 years later. One of the beginning sequences was Bullwinkle telling Rocky that he was going to pull a rabbit out of a hat. Time after time, no rabbit. A lion, rhinoceros, wrong hat, wrong size. But never, ever a rabbit. Despite many attempts and each attempt preceded by a promise, no rabbit. Which brings me Senator Norm "Bio Diesel" Coleman.(The reason for the "Bio Diesel" sobriquet was at the 2002 CD2 Convention, Senate Candidate Coleman said that he was against drilling in ANWR because he believed in bio-diesel. I posited the questions as to how much lubricants, plastics, gasoline, explosives, fiber cable, paint could be gotten from "bio-diesel"? I have a friend who flies for Northwest. If he were to fuel up with "bio-diesel" in Gandor on a flight to Amsterdam, would his wife and daughter ever see him again? And what is the mileage efficiency in many cars with a tankful of "bio-diesel" propelling them down the road? "Bio-diesel" Norm!).
So, "Bio-diesel" and the rest of the Senate and House are now hot on the path to correct what Big Oil has done to the economy...and to you! Ladies and gentlemen, we have for your pondering in total and consuming awe and amazement: The Enhanced Energy Efficiency Act of 2006!!!!! Yup. I kid you not. It's true. Wonder all you like and wish, but they've done it again. Read the clip so you'll be totally convinced (if perchance you weren't already) as to how this wonderfully insightful and mystically crafted piece of legislation will allow at least 10,000,000 less, oops, sorry, more barrels of oil to flow into America and gas will be $10.00 a ,uh,no, yah ,$.10, yup I'm sure $10, no, no,it's $.10 , yah it's $.10 a gallon, I'm sure, with the ultimate end that all machinery will run on pure thought, with no use of oil ever again! And we'll all have teleporters to eliminate the automobile forever! We won't even hear of the Kyoto Protocol anymore because
energy requirements will have been met. It's all in The Enhanced Energy Efficiency Act of 2006!!! Remember, you heard it here first---. Now, we can ignore a few minor past failings of the House and Senate- like the Senate and House having had 70 years to correct and get the disaster called Social Security right, 40 years to get Medicare on sound financial footing, and the Senate let ting $600 toilet seats go unchecked for years, and we still have honey, mohair and kapok subsidies, still stockpile helium for lighter than air ships (blimps and dirigibles), 8 months after Katrina New Orleans is still a disaster despite billions of dollars and FEMA. Oh, and that the first oil crisis was 33 years ago and the Senate and House have done nothing but spent billions of dollars on, well, I don't know, but that ethanol is exactly what they say we need, but we have an ethanol shortage (that Congress created) but we need it to satisfy the forced use of ethanol, but Congress has imposed a $.54 a gallon tariff on imported ethanol to protect the subsidized ethanol industry that Congress created. But, this time, for sure, they will get it absolutely right and everything that's in that bill will come true!!! After all, they promised!
Say, Bullwinkle-how ya doing on that rabbit?


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